There are moments in life that divide us into two distinct parts: before and after. For me, that moment was losing my mother.
I was young – too young to grasp the full weight of grief, yet old enough to feel its grasp on every aspect of my life. Her death didn’t just break my heart; it derailed my entire existence. Family dynamics shifted, relationships fractured, and my sense of self became blurred. I didn’t just lose her; I lost the version of myself that existed when she was alive.
Recently, I read Life and Death by Intention by Christopher Brodie, and something inside me cracked open once again.
A Book That Mirrors Pain: Christopher Brodie’s Story of Losing His Wife to Suicide
Christopher’s story is devastatingly real. His wife died by suicide at just 34 years old, leaving behind him and their two beautiful children. The way he writes is raw, unfiltered, emotionally naked- it felt like someone finally put words to the chaos I’ve felt inside for years. Although tragedies were different, the insurmountable pain was the same.
He doesn’t sugarcoat it. He doesn’t wrap grief in platitudes. He dives deep into the signals, the struggles, and the aftermath. He talks about what suicide looks like from the outside and what it feels like from the inside, based on his perspective and what he witnessed. He shares the warning signs, the statistics, the strategies—but most importantly, he shares his soul!
And that’s what hooked me.
He lost someone to suicide and struggled with the haunting question: Could I have done something? This natural reaction is explored further by Christopher in his book.
A Spark I Didn’t Expect
Christopher’s writing didn’t just move me – it cracked something open. So thank you, Christopher, for igniting a spark in me to share a part of myself I’ve kept tucked away. I don’t usually talk about the person I lost to suicide. It’s only been a couple of years, and the wound still feels raw. But today, I’m ready. And I have you to thank for that.
If you haven’t read Life and Death by Intention, do yourself a favor and grab a copy on Amazon. Even if you haven’t lost someone to suicide, Chris’s story is compelling, eye-opening, and deeply human. You’ll learn a lot. You’ll smile. You’ll cry. And you’ll find yourself glued to the pages, wondering what happens next. You might even feel inspired to take an ice bath to boost your mood (yes, really). Or, if you’re feeling fearless, like Christopher, you will voluntarily submerge yourself in a sensory deprivation tank.
Now, let’s talk about that tank. Sensory deprivation tanks offer deep physical and emotional relief by calming the nervous system, easing chronic stress, and promoting restorative sleep, essential ingredients for healing from trauma and loss. The quiet, weightless environment creates space for introspection and emotional release, helping you reconnect with a sense of peace and inner resilience.
Me? I’m still on the fence about these two healing modalities. I mean, I like my internal organs functioning at room temperature, thank you very much. But hey, Chris swears by it, so maybe I’ll dip a toe in someday. Maybe. Truthfully, the mood enhancement sounds pretty tempting. And if floating in salty water in total darkness helps me feel even a little more whole—well, I might just be willing to give it a shot. Maybe.
Suicide Is a Disease—Not a Decision
One of the most powerful truths Christopher shares is this:
“Suicide is not about who you leave behind. It’s about the pain you’re trying to escape.”
That hit me hard.
We often frame suicide as abandonment. But it’s not. It’s a symptom of unbearable suffering. And unless we start seeing it that way, we’ll keep missing the signs. We’ll keep losing people we love.
Christopher’s book is more than just a memoir; it’s a survival manual designed for those who are struggling and for those they leave behind. He discusses the importance of making a plan, seeking help, finding support, and staying alive even when it feels impossible. Through his writing, he extends a hand to anyone in need. His spirit shines brightly, and his sole purpose is to share his story to help others.
What Happens After the Loss?
After his wife’s death, Christopher uprooted his life. He stayed strong for his kids but fell apart in private. He tried to move on, rebuild, and heal. And he shares what worked for him, health and wellness strategies, therapy, community, and the slow, painful process of rediscovering purpose.
Reading his story was like feeling my own heartbreak unfold from a different angle.
Because after my mother died, I didn’t just grieve, I unraveled. I questioned everything. I isolated myself. I lost trust in the world.
But like Christopher, I also found a way forward. Not a way out of grief – but a way to live with it.
Why I Write: From Grief Stricken to Now
When I wrote Grief Stricken, I poured my soul onto the page. I wanted people to feel seen in their pain. I wanted to offer a lifeline to anyone drowning in grief. And now, after reading Christopher’s book, I feel even more compelled to keep sharing.
Why? Because sharing stories saves lives!
Maybe his story will help one person say, “I choose life,” and one family recognize the signs and choose to intervene. Maybe mine will help someone advocate for their mental health and demand to be heard when it comes to their medical care. Maybe yours – yes, yours- will be the one that keeps someone alive.
Suicide Isn’t the End—There’s Help, Right Now
Let me say this LOUD AND CLEAR: You are not better off gone. Your pain is not invisible. And you are absolutely not alone.
If you’re in the thick of it, if the weight feels unbearable, if the silence is deafening, if you’re standing on the edge wondering if anyone would notice, you need to know: There are people trained to help you through this exact moment.
Call or text 988 — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It’s free. It’s confidential. It’s 24/7. Whether you’re the one in crisis or you’re grieving someone who didn’t make it, these counselors are ready. They’re not just voices on the other end, they’re lifelines. They know how to talk you down from the ledge, how to sit with your pain, how to help you breathe again.
You can also chat online at 988lifeline.org. No judgment. No shame. Just help.
If someone you love is struggling, don’t wait. Ask the hard questions. Stay close. Make a plan. Because of the pain suicide leaves behind? It’s catastrophic. It changes people. It shatters families. It rewrites futures.
We are the ones left behind. And we would give anything – anything – for one more chance to help.
So if you’re reading this and you’re hurting, please: Reach out. Stay. Fight for one more day. There’s help. There’s hope. There’s healing. And there’s a whole world that still needs you in it.
Let’s Keep Talking. Let’s Keep Writing.
Authors today are more accessible than ever. You can follow them and reach out on social media. You can read their current blogs and posts. You can share your story in the comments. And you should. I encourage you to share your story so others have proof they’re not alone. Emotions can be BIG, but together we can support each other and get through it.
Grief doesn’t end with a book. And healing doesn’t happen in silence.
Let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s keep each other alive.
Leave a Reply